Why I blog

I want to send a special thanks to M.J. over at Nurse Ratched’s Place for linking to me this week. This marks the very first time someone has linked to this blog (as far as I know).

A few years ago, I had another blog that I updated with relative frequency (the now defunct Todd’s Web Page Dot Com). I would occasionally write something clever, but it was essentially just a collection of links that I liked. I made the mistake early on of adding a traffic counter so that I could monitor visitors to my site. I gradually lost focus on the writing and more concerned with the traffic I was generating. I became obsessed with my “stats” and checked them numerous times throughout the day. I tried to devise ways to increase traffic to my site and would link to sites I liked hoping that they would return the favor. When someone didn’t add me to their site or worse yet, removed me I would become distraught. Didn’t they like me? Did they think I was stupid? I felt like that awkward kid with thick glasses that I was in the sixth grade; standing in the lunch room, holding my tray, hoping that someone would invite me to sit at their table. I felt shy, vulnerable, and entirely too self conscious.

When I started this site, I pledged not to fall back into my old habits. I wanted an outlet for my creativity, an area of my life that had long been neglected. I decided that I would write for myself without concern for who may or may not be reading. I wasn’t going to give it a theme or focus on a particular aspect of my life. I would just write about things I thought were interesting or funny. This has led to a few entries that my boyfriend has referred to as “embarrassing” (see here and here), but for the most part I have kept my promise. I am slowly discovering my voice and am often surprised by what it has to say.

I did add a stat counter last month, but have been careful to not focus on how many visitors I get. I’m thrilled that someone might like what I have to say, but I am not guided by those numbers. If you’re new here, welcome! If you’re a return visitor, thanks for your support and I hope you continue to come back. I don’t know where I’ll take this site, but I just hope that I can continue to write with honesty and openness. If I have a few visitors along the way, then great. If not, then that’s alright too.