Christmas 2006 in Pictures

Stanger in a Strange Land

I must have been a very good boy this year. Why, you ask? Here's what Santa gave me for Christmas:



Having used PC's for the last 15 years, I have found the transition to a Mac a bit disconcerting. I feel like a man lost in a foreign country in which I don't know the language. Actually, it's more like I picked up and moved to the foreign country without knowing the language and not being prepared for the many cultural differences. (Ok, I guess I've beat that metaphor to death...)

The differences are pretty remarkable. First, I can say that as far as style goes the Mac beats the PC hands down. Macs are just nicer to look at and the operating system is ever so stylish. The initial boot up on the Mac also trumps that of the PC. While I sit for what seems like 15 minutes waiting for my PC to load, my Mac starts right up without any trouble.

My current problem is getting used to the new software I have to use. I have grown quite comfortable with the many offerings of Microsoft and getting used to new programs is a bit like saying goodbye to that friend who kind of always gets on your nerves but whom you always thought would be around. (I know, I know...enough with the fucking metaphors!) I haven't quite figured out how to get my gmail account working with iMail, I can't seem to import my Outlook contacts, and I haven't even attempted to deal with my calendar. As of this point, my new luxury laptop as been nothing more than a very expensive DVD player. Although I must say that I could get used to the idea of watching movies anywhere I go.

I know that I will one day grow to love my new Mac. I will eventually figure out everything it has to offer me and I will become one of those fanatical Mac users who spits at the mention of Bill Gates. For now I will continue to struggle with my new friend and hope that our relationship grows quickly like so many great romances in history. And I promise that was my last metaphor.

Dead Nurse's Favorite Music: 2006

As pundits from across the web chime in with their choices for the “Best of 2006”, I figured I would join in the fun. Here’s a list of my most listened to tracks on I-tunes. Most of the songs are not from this year, but it certainly does tell you a little about my musical tastes.

1. “Hung Up”, Madonna – This is still in heavy rotation on my I-tunes and in my car. It’s great to dance to and I haven’t found a better house cleaning song. I am convinced that the gays will be dancing to this song for the next 20 years.

2. “Hollywood”, Madonna – What can I say, I just love this woman.

3. “The Grass is Blue”, Dolly Parton – This song got me through a very painful few months early in the year. I just love me some Dolly.

4. “Baby, Now That I’ve Found You”, Alison Kraus – This gal has such a lovely voice that I find myself returning to this tune over and over again.

5. “Dagger Through The Heart”, Dolly Parton – Often played after the previous two songs.

6. “Crash”, Gwen Stefani – Gwen minus any “Sound of Music” samples.

7. “Toxic”, Britney Spears – Please don’t hate me for liking a Britney song.

8. “Sleeps With Butterflies”, Tori Amos – I’ve grown a little weary of Tori Amos’s whiney, breathy singing style and the almost religious fanaticism of her fan base, however this song is really quite lovely.

9. “Bigger Than My Body”, John Mayer – I’m not a big fan of John Mayer, but I really enjoy this tune. I love listening to it while walking the busy streets of Portland. It just makes me feel good.

10. “Since U Been Gone”, Kelly Clarkson – Kelly Clarkson is MY American Idol

Hot Guy Tuesday: A Retrospective

I know it's probably a little strange to do a retrospective on something I've only been doing since September. My problem is that I'm afraid I've run out of hot guys. At least guys that I think are hot. So here's a look back at all the men I've honored on Hot Guy Tuesday. If I should discover a new hot guy then he will be added to the ranks. If not, then we'll always have the memories.

Chris Evans (The original hot guy!)
Kevin Zegers
Ryan Carnes
Ewan McGregor
Jeremy Bloom
Christian Bale
Duck-billed Platypus (I was uninspired that week.)
David Beckham
Tom Welling
Ian Somerhalder
Daniel Craig
Jake Gyllenhaal

To finish up today, I give you another shirtless pic of Chris Evans. My appreciation for this man has no limits...

Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels

In honor of today, I have decided to post the following clip from the American classic Female Trouble. The site of Divine knocking over a Christmas tree because she didn't get her black cha-cha heels is enough to warm any scrooge's heart.

Merry Christmas!

Celebrity Watch: Portland

What Hollywood director was spotted having lunch at the Break & Ink Café this afternoon? Why it was no other than Good Will Hunting director Gus Van Sant! My lunch companions and I did our best not to stare when Mr. Van Sant walked in, but I don’t think we did a very good job. After doing a little research, it would seem that he is filming his latest movie Paranoid Park right here in Portland.

Well it’s not Janice Dickinson, but it’s still pretty exciting.

Ruminations on Entering My Third Decade

Well, it happened. I turned 30.

It feels weird to no longer be a “20-something”. I was so comfortable being in my 20’s. It was something I looked forward to as a teenager. I wanted to be older. I wanted to be in my 20’s (specifically, 21) so that I could enjoy all that life had to offer (read: alcohol).
Now here I am, a man of 30. No longer the happy go-lucky guy in his 20’s. I am a bill paying, job going, soon to be mortgage having man.

I remember when I was a child and I would think about the year 2000. Of course, I expected that life would be more similar to the Jetsons than it is currently (I’m still waiting for my flying car). It seemed so far away. It was so incomprehensible that one day it would be the year 2000 and I would be 24. I never even fathomed what would happen 6 years after that when I turned 30.

A friend of mine told me a couple of years ago right after her 30th birthday, that she felt so confident and secure to be in her 30’s. She had a job, a husband, a life she adored. She said this while we munched on the birthday cake that she had smeared the “30” off of. She didn’t seem so confident or secure to me. Incidentally, she divorced her husband a year later.

I had somewhat of a “quarter-life crisis” when I turned 25. I was in a job that was rapidly draining all life out of me and living in a town that no longer had any secrets to share. I felt lost and uncertain what to do. So I quit my job, went back to school and became a nurse. It was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself and I never regret my decision. When looking back at my 20’s, I suppose that was sort of the pivotal moment of that decade. If I hadn’t made that one simple choice, I would still be in that boring little town working at that soul sucking job.

I wonder what amazing, life altering decisions I’ll make in my 30’s. If I had to guess, I think that this decade will mark the time that I become a parent. Yes, you heard it here first! A and I are considering having a child. We haven’t made a final decision yet, but if we do decide to go ahead with it than I think it will be the most amazing experience. People talk about marriage as though it is some beautiful, life affirming event. Bull shit. I’ve known far too many people who have gotten divorced to believe that marriage is anything other than a contract between two people. Unlike marriage, having a child is for life and not something you can just back out of. Once you do it, you’re in for the long haul.

As I look at myself, I realize that I’ve changed a lot over that last 10 years. I’ve become more secure in who I am as a person and my hairline has retreated slightly. I also seem to have acquired several traits that I used to associate with “old” people. I drink coffee with every meal and I complain when someone plays their music at a decibel I deem too high.

I can only imagine how much I’m going to change over the next 10 years. Hopefully, my hairline stays fairly steadfast and it doesn’t go gray too quickly. I guess I’ll just have another cup of coffee, turn down my music, and ponder it over for a little while.

Hot Guy Tuesday: Jake Gyllenhaal

In honor of his 26th birthday, I've decided to make Jake Gyllenhaal this week's hot guy. Happy Birthday, Jake! Keep those shirtless pictures and gay cowboy movies coming!

This Day in History

1791: The Bill of Rights becomes law

1864: Battle of Nashville, Tennessee

1914: New York Stock Exchange opens for trading

1939: Gone With the Wind premieres in Atlanta.

1961: Nazi SS Officer Adolf Eichmann sentenced to death

1966: Walt Disney dies

1976: Dead Nurse is born in Schenectady, New York

2006: Dead Nurse turns 30. Mourns the passing of his youth by stuffing several hundreds of dollars down the pants of male strippers at a local watering hole.

(Source: The History Channel)

On Working the Night Shift

It’s just after 6am and I haven’t been to bed. I have to work tonight, so I’ve done my usual routine of staying up the previous night. It helps me get back into my nocturnal life. I stay up and watch movies, read, respond to emails, surf the net…Anything to keep myself occupied.

I’ve worked night shift for the last year and half and I just don’t know how much longer I can do it. I love the people I work with. You have to have a certain personality to work nights. Night shift people are funny, cranky, they tend to curse a lot, and they drink their coffee strong and black. These are the type of people I get along with so well. I am one of those people. When a new hire comes in, I can immediately tell if they’re going to last on nights. If they’re too perky, or too conservative, or too stupid, they’re not going to last. It’s usually only a couple of months before they’re meeting with the manager to discuss a transfer to day shift.

I love the camaraderie on nights. It’s a small staff throughout the entire hospital and you learn everyone’s name. When you have a question about something you’ve never seen before, you know who to call on another floor to get the answer. You don’t have swarms of doctors at night like you do during the day. No fighting for your patients’ charts. No hunting for a free space to do your charting. The hospital is a ghost town and that’s the way I like it.

My biggest complaint with working the night shift has always been the negative impact it has on the rest of my life. When all of my friends are going out to dinner or planning a night of drinks and dancing, I’m putting on my scrubs and going to work. It’s always hard to get people who don’t work nights to understand how truly difficult it is. They never seem to understand how hard it can be to get a good 8 hours of sleep. They always seem to call during the day when I’m trying to rest. Even my mother doesn’t understand. She called on Thanksgiving while I was sleeping and wanted to pass the phone around to all of my family members in attendance at their holiday feast. I try to explain that it’s the equivalent of my calling someone at 3am and asking them to meet me for a cup of coffee. It just doesn’t seem to make a difference.

I suppose I’ll continue doing this for awhile longer. Eventually I will probably be that person meeting with my manager asking for a transfer to day shift. In the mean time I’ve gotten used to walking around in a perpetual state of sleep deprivation. I was told when I first started on nights, that night shift workers have a higher incidence of colon cancer. I guess I’ll just keep eating my fiber, pray for the best, and try to get some sleep in the process.

Santa in a speedo

I haven't had much to write about lately. Or perhaps the real problem is I just don't know what to write about. So until my writers block is cured, here's a picture of three guys in speedos and santa hats.


Ho, ho, ho...

Hot Guy Tuesday: Daniel Craig

Like every other gay man in the world who saw Casino Royale, I have fallen in love with Daniel Craig. He makes a fantastic James Bond and looks great in a tuxedo (not to mention those little blue trunks).

The Angel and the Nut

She was a woman in her 40’s who had been admitted for vague abdominal pain. A number of tests had been completed and no cause of the pain had been found. When I had been assigned to care for her she was no longer complaining of pain in her abdomen. The pain had moved to her neck. Little did I know that she would be giving me a similar pain over the next three nights.

She is what we refer to as a “brittle diabetic”. This basically means that her blood sugars are extremely labile and difficult to manage. On top of this, she was crazy. She was forgetful, paranoid and irrational. The first two nights I cared for her were busy but uneventful. She called frequently for snacks and with questions about when her next dose of pain medicine was due, but we got along just fine. She called me her “angel” and told me that I was the “kindest, most compassionate nurse”.

The third night didn’t go as smoothly. The previous day she had been refusing all of her medications and meals. She had vomited on herself and refused assistance cleaning up, so she was lying in bed covered in dry vomit. When I went in to see her, I offered to get her some clean pajamas and a bedtime snack. To my surprise, she agreed and allowed me to help her get cleaned up.

Slowly the rest of the night began to deteriorate. She questioned me repeatedly about her medications. She became more dependent on me to do things that she could previously do for herself. She couldn’t walk without holding my arm. She wasn’t able to open her sugar free jello. She couldn’t undo her pajama bottoms in order to use the toilet. I encouraged her to be independent, but that didn’t work. She quickly became angry with me.

“I don’t feel good!” she yelled.

“You were able to walk without any help yesterday. You need to be independent,” I rationalized with her.

“You don’t fucking care about me!”

I could feel myself getting irritated and I was afraid that she could also sense my annoyance. I grabbed another nurse and asked her to cover for me so that I could leave the room. I needed to get away from this woman. She was getting to me and I felt like a horrible nurse for allowing it to happen. Why was I permitting this woman to upset me? Why was I letting her take control?

After I had cooled off, I approached her. She was crying, which wasn’t really unusual. She cried easily and I wondered if it was an attention seeking behavior.

“I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time,” she said.

“It’s alright. I’m here to help you but I need you to do things for yourself,” I told her.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes, her upper lip quivering. I couldn’t help but think she looked like a six-year old I once cared for during my pediatric rotation in nursing school. Emotionally, I think the six year old was probably more mature.

“You’re my angel,” she whimpered.

High praise from a nut like her. High praise, indeed.

Scrabble with Zefrank

Since discovering The Show With Zefrank a couple of weeks ago, I have become quite a fan. Zefrank is funny, intelligent and a real cutie pie. Today's episode made me laugh quite a bit. I don't come from a Scrabble family, but A. does. I have gotten used to losing at Scrabble when we play, but I can mop the floor with him during a game of Monopoly. It all evens out in the end I suppose.

Another Gay Movie

This weekend I watched the movie Another Gay Movie. It is basically a spoof of the original American Pie, except in this case the guys are gay. It is a filthy, offensive film full of scatological humor and sexual jokes.

I just loved it.

I laughed so much and found myself saying several times “can they really show that?!?!” This movie did offer a rather different view of life as a gay teenager. Another Gay Movie takes place in a bright, candy colored world where the gay students at Santorum High are free to be as gay as they want to be. No one is getting beat up for being queer, and certainly no one is being killed. It sort of reminded me of my high school in some ways. My high school was the kind of place where an openly gay guy (yours truly) could get elected class president and take a boy to his senior prom.

When I talk to a lot of my friends, they tell me about the awful high school experience they had. Many were taunted for being different and a few were beaten up. I’ve heard stories of parents kicking sons and daughters out of their houses. Stories of people turning to drugs and alcohol in an attempt to stop the pain of being rejected by everyone in their life.

I wish every gay guy and gal could have had my experience. I went to an arts high school (think Fame, but with less dancing on the hoods of cars) and my sexuality was never an issue. I was free to be who I wanted to be as were all of the other gay students. When my parents discovered that I was gay (another story for another day), they never turned their backs on me. While I now know that they struggled internally with having a gay son, they never once stopped loving me.

I wish the world was more like Another Gay Movie. I wish all young gay guys and girls had parents who loved and accepted them. I wish they all had a close circle of friends with whom they could share their deepest thoughts. I wish no gay person ever again had to worry about acts of violence just for loving someone of the same sex. Yes, the world wouldn’t be such a bad place if it was like Another Gay Movie. Of course, I could do without the gerbiling.

New York Times: Young Doctors Strut Too Much of Their Stuff

The New York Time takes a look at trend among young doctors: dressing down. I personally don't think this is a trend unique to doctors. I have seen many a nurse dressed in a less than professional manner. My biggest pet peeve is the cartoon scrub top. Many of my nursing colleagues feel the need to express themselves by wearing scrub tops adorned with Tweety Bird or (worse) Sponge Bob. Unless you're working in pediatrics, I really don't see how this is appropriate.

My hospital thankfully forbids scrubs with cartoon prints, so for the most part everyone looks presentable. Some folks do seem to have a problem with massive amounts of wrinkles. Do they not own an iron? Just because your scrubs look like pajamas, doesn't mean you are allowed to look like you just rolled out of bed.

I think the trend in society is for everyone to be more casual. Less people dress up for occasions that were once considered very formal. I went to a wedding a couple of years ago and a young man was wearing shorts. Here in Portland, it is acceptable to go to the theatre in hiking boots and jeans. I'm not suggesting we go back to the days of men wearing ties and women wearing dresses every day. I personally have never understood the neck tie and hate wearing one. I just wish people would try a little harder when it comes to their appearance. Stop wearing flip flops everywhere! How about putting on a collared shirt every once in awhile? Oh, and while your tossing out those Sponge Bob scrub tops, how about getting rid of that Bugs Bunny neck tie? That was never a good idea.

Hot Guy Tuesday: Ian Somerhalder

We’re not sure why the makers of Lost killed off Ian Somerhalder’s character. A show like that seems ideal for Ian. Lots of opportunities to have him walk around half naked. At any rate, you can see some half-naked Ian in The Rules of Attraction with former Dawson Creek-er James Van Der Beek (not a contender for Hot Guy Tuesday).

George Michael loves boys...and nurses.

In a somewhat bizarre yet touching move, singer and public masturbator George Michael will be performing a free concert for National Health Service nurses on December 20th (via Towleroad). The concert is to honor the many nurses who cared for his mother before she died of cancer in 1997. George stated:

The nurses that helped my family at that time were incredible people, and I realised just how undervalued these amazing people are.

While I'm not a big fan of Mr. Michael, I think that this is a pretty cool thing for him to do. If you work for the NHS, you can register for free tickets at George Michael's website.

Blogger issues

Since changing my template yesterday, I have noticed some weird issues with fonts and sentence spacing on a couple of posts. I don't know if I did something to mess things up, but I sure can't figure out what the problem is. I searched Bloggers help section (OK, so I "skimmed" their help section) and couldn't find an answer. I apologize if things look a little funny for a few days.

"You're a nurse! I can't believe you don't know that!"

It has become a favorite joke of a friend of mine when something medically related is being discussed that I don’t know very much about (this happens a lot) to jokingly say “You’re a nurse! I can’t believe you don’t know that!” This all started a few months ago when he was asking me about diabetes and I didn’t have an answer to his question. I complained that people are always asking me for medical advice and are shocked when I don’t have a response. Believe it or not, I told him, I don’t know everything about healthcare. At any rate, this has become a hilarious joke for him which he just loves to pull out. I roll my eyes whenever he uses it but it amuses him, so I don’t complain.

The truth is this has been an issue since I first announced to my family that I was going to nursing school. Relatives and friends would call me asking for advice on their latest symptom. What could it be? Is it serious? The discussion usually went something like this:

Hypochondriac friend or relative: “So lately I’ve noticed (insert vague, somewhat benign symptom)”
Me: “Have you seen your doctor?”
HFOR: “No, but I thought maybe you could tell me what it might be caused by.”
Me: “It could be several things. You should call your doctor if you’re concerned.”
HFOR: “Could it be serious?”
Me: “Maybe. Call your doctor.”
HFOR: (looking slightly annoyed) “I thought you were a nurse.”
Me: “I’m in nursing school. Call your doctor.”

This would leave my friend or relative seriously doubting my knowledge and desire to be a nurse. If I wanted to be a nurse so much, why wasn’t I dispensing free medical advice? Why wasn’t I diagnosing their latest malady? I guess they somehow thought that after a couple of months in nursing school, I had been imparted with enough knowledge to offer expert advice so that they wouldn’t have to haul their asses into the doctor’s office. My reluctance to dispense wisdom was usually greeted with an exasperated sigh, since it meant that a visit to the physician (not to mention a $20 insurance co-payment) was in their future.

Since getting my nursing license and learning a bit more about healthcare, I am less reluctant to counsel ailing friends and family. While I’m not diagnosing their latest case of influenza or African sleeping sickness, I have been known to share some insights regarding blood glucose control. I am still often faced with a question or situation that I know very little about and have to refer someone to their physician. However at this point I’m much more comfortable saying “yes, I’m a nurse and I don’t know that.”

Why I blog

I want to send a special thanks to M.J. over at Nurse Ratched’s Place for linking to me this week. This marks the very first time someone has linked to this blog (as far as I know).

A few years ago, I had another blog that I updated with relative frequency (the now defunct Todd’s Web Page Dot Com). I would occasionally write something clever, but it was essentially just a collection of links that I liked. I made the mistake early on of adding a traffic counter so that I could monitor visitors to my site. I gradually lost focus on the writing and more concerned with the traffic I was generating. I became obsessed with my “stats” and checked them numerous times throughout the day. I tried to devise ways to increase traffic to my site and would link to sites I liked hoping that they would return the favor. When someone didn’t add me to their site or worse yet, removed me I would become distraught. Didn’t they like me? Did they think I was stupid? I felt like that awkward kid with thick glasses that I was in the sixth grade; standing in the lunch room, holding my tray, hoping that someone would invite me to sit at their table. I felt shy, vulnerable, and entirely too self conscious.

When I started this site, I pledged not to fall back into my old habits. I wanted an outlet for my creativity, an area of my life that had long been neglected. I decided that I would write for myself without concern for who may or may not be reading. I wasn’t going to give it a theme or focus on a particular aspect of my life. I would just write about things I thought were interesting or funny. This has led to a few entries that my boyfriend has referred to as “embarrassing” (see here and here), but for the most part I have kept my promise. I am slowly discovering my voice and am often surprised by what it has to say.

I did add a stat counter last month, but have been careful to not focus on how many visitors I get. I’m thrilled that someone might like what I have to say, but I am not guided by those numbers. If you’re new here, welcome! If you’re a return visitor, thanks for your support and I hope you continue to come back. I don’t know where I’ll take this site, but I just hope that I can continue to write with honesty and openness. If I have a few visitors along the way, then great. If not, then that’s alright too.

Update

Since yesterday's entry on health disparities and men I have since learned that prostate cancer may not have a ribbon, but it does have its own wristband. I'm not sure I really believe that a colored bracelet is the way to bring attention to a particular cause, but I suppose it could spark a conversation. Anything that gets people to talk about a big health concern like prostate cancer is okay in my book.

At any rate, these bracelets come in bags of 10 so you can buy a bunch and give them to all your friends. I'm going to buy a bag and hand them out at work and you should to.

ACK!!!

Just playing around with a new template...

Health Disparities and Men

This article in the New York Times confirms something I have thought for quite some time; that men are being ignored by our health care system these days. Every time I turn around, it seems that there is some new health initiative focusing on women. Either we're wearing red to bring attention to heart disease and women or we're wearing a pink ribbon and running a marathon to raise money for breast cancer. The excuse I often hear for this (and one that is used by an interviewee in the article) is that in the past health care and research focused solely on men and completely neglected women. So I guess it's our turn to be neglected, is that what you're saying?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that we should turn around and focus all our attention on men again. I'm just asking for a little balance, that's all. How about focusing some attention on prostate cancer? How about a public service campaign encouraging men to see their doctor on a more regular basis? You can bet that if women had prostates that prostate cancer would have a ribbon.

Men consistently die at a younger age than women and there has to be a reason why. Sure, some of it could just be old fashioned genetics. But isn't there a chance that some of the disparity could be fixed simply by not ignoring us guys?

Excuse me while I geek out for a moment...

If you are a nerd like me, then you were very excited to see the new trailer for Spider-man 3 released this week. Well, I had heard some rumors online about a "secret" trailer that contained some unreleased footage. I found this footage over at I-Film and must say that it is pretty awesome. (Update: The folks at I-Film have since caught on and removed the pirated footage.) While much of the special effects are unfinished, at the very end you get a quick view of Venom which didn't make it into the official trailer. Now I am even more excited to see this movie next summer.

Enjoy!

The B-52's: Bringing the World Together

I was watching those B-52’s videos I posted yesterday and I started to think about how much I used to love them when I was a teenager. I remember plastering my walls with their images. I loved their fashion sense and the ability their music had to instantly make me feel better when I was having a bad day. I was fanatical in my devotion and would defend them against anyone who spoke negatively. As I thought about all of this, it occurred to me is how much they really shaped my teenage years as a young gay person growing up in the early 90’s.

There was this B-52’s newsletter that you could receive by sending a self addressed stamped envelope to this woman in New York City. It was basically a few pages of xeroxed colored paper containing news and information on the B’s (that’s what we diehard fans called them). There was one particular section of the newsletter that I really enjoyed. It was the back page where you could have a brief bio and contact information listed so that fellow fans from across the globe could send you mail.

I remember sending in my information and waiting patiently for it to be printed. I was so excited when it was finally published and I eagerly awaited mail from my new friends. I received a few letters. One was from this weird girl in Georgia who published her own zine. Another was from this skater dude in California. I never really connected to either one of them, but there was another who I formed a very quick bond with. His name was Erik and he lived in Pennsylvania. He was eccentric, a bit nerdy and adored the B-52’s. Frankly, he was exactly like me. We wrote long letters to each other talking about our friends, families, and interests.

It wasn’t long until I decided to share with him my deep dark secret. I wrote a letter telling him that I was gay. I was terrified what he would think. Would he hate me? Would he even bother to respond? I received a response within the week. To my relief, he didn’t hate me. In fact, he was gay as well. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone in the world. I had met another gay person and he was my friend. He was thousands of miles away, but that hardly mattered. I had shared my secret with him, and I was accepted. He was just like me. I had met another gay person and it was all because of the B-52’s.

Erik and I lost touch after a few years. We reconnected briefly on MySpace, but it was clear that we had both changed a lot since our first “meeting” almost 15 years ago. Even though we don’t keep in touch any longer, I will always remember him as my first gay friend and how we met through that back page in the B-52’s newsletter.

Hot Guy Tuesday: Tom Welling

If the makers of Smallville continue to use shirtless pictures of Tom Welling to advertise their show, we just may have to watch an episode one day. It's almost enough to get us to renew our cable subsciption.

The B-52's: A Video Retrospective

When I was a teenager, I loved the B-52's. I loved all of their songs and listened to them obsessively. When I saw them live, I threw a stuffed lobster on stage during Rock Lobster and screamed with delight when their lead singer danced around with it. I don't know why I loved them so much. I think like so many young homos, they appealed to my budding gay sensibilities.

At any rate, I was browsing You Tube today and came across some old B-52's music videos that I haven't seen in ages. They brought back a lot of good memories and I just wanted to share the love.

Weekend Highlights

I was sick this weekend so I spent the majority of my time sitting on the sofa watching movies, reading and listening to NPR. Here are a few things that kept me entertained:

Obituary for Ms. Pudding: This segment from Saturday's Weekend Edition actually made me cry. I immediately grabbed my cat and gave her a good ear scratching. You know, just in case.

Adventures at Poo Corner: If I were older and funnier, I think I would be David Sedaris. This story from This American Life deals with America's hidden plague: pooping in public.

Wordplay: I'm not good at crosswords, but I loved watching other people do them in this documentary. As an added bonus you get to see Jon Stewart and Bill Clinton, two men whom I greatly admire.

Art School Confidential: A very dark comedy starring Anjelica Huston and John Malkovich. Very entertaining and particularly amusing if you were an art major or had a lot of friends who were in college. I swear I went to school with some of the people in this movie.

The Know-It-All: Author A.J. Jacobs reads the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica and learns a little about himself in the process. A very fun read. Makes me want to take on some enormous project and write a book about it. I mean, if this A.J. guy can get a book deal...

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: What does it say about me that I sort of feel sorry for Nurse Ratched?

Flickr rocks

I recently opened up an account at Flickr and must say that I just love it. I think they have a great interface for organizing your photographs. I am currently without a digital camera, but hope to rememdy that before the end of the year. In the meantime, you can check out photos from the past by clicking on my Flickr sidebar on the left.

Brilliant Quote

"I think I'd just commit suicide."

Senator John McCain in October 2006 when asked how he would feel if the Democrats took over the Senate after the November election. (source)

Whistling Dixie

Last night A. and I saw the Dixie Chicks in concert. We had fabulous seats and the girls didn’t disappoint. They put on a great show and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. What was most interesting about the evening was how the girls haven’t softened the voicing of their political opinions since the fallout two years ago when singer Natalie Maines declared that she was ashamed that George W. Bush was from Texas. Personally, I thought the whole thing was just insane. Country music fans holding rallies where they crushed Dixie Chicks CD’s and declared that the girls should be strapped to a bomb and dropped on Iraq. So much for land of the free, eh?

At last night’s show, Natalie was very vocal about her pleasure at the Democratic party capturing the House and Senate in Tuesday’s election. The crowd roared its agreement as she stated “in two more years, the last one will be gone.” She offered an “apology” to any Republicans that may have been in the audience, stating “you knew what you were getting into when you walked in the door.”

I’m thrilled that the Dixie Chicks never apologized and continue to speak their mind. They have captured the anger that so many of us feel about the current administration. When Tuesday’s election was mentioned, I cheered along with the crowd. I truly am so excited about the prospect of a Democratic Senate and House of Representatives. For the first time since George W. Bush was elected, I feel a sense of hope about this country. I feel optimistic about the future and look forward to the next two years.

A side note to all Democrats currently in office: if you disappoint me, I will personally come to your office and bitch slap you.

Hot Guy Tuesday: David Beckham

Here's what I know about David Beckham:

1. He plays soccer.
2. He's married to the fembot formerly known as Posh Spice.
3. He's a hottie with a rockin' bod.

I am primarily concerned with item #3.

Squint harder

This collection of magazine covers spoofing The New York Times Magazine and Parade had me literally LOL-ing. Enjoy!

The Kindly Nurse and the Evil Surgeon: A Modern Fairytale

Once upon a time there was a kindly nurse who worked on a very busy medical floor. This kindly nurse was no dummy you see. He was the nurse that coworkers sought for advice. He was the one that nurses came to when they didn’t feel good about their patients and wanted a second opinion. He was the nurse that was given the sickest, most critical patients on his floor.

On this very busy medical floor there was also an evil surgeon. The name of this surgeon struck fear into the hearts of many a young, inexperienced nurse. You had to be on your toes if you were to care for one of the evil surgeon’s patients. It was common practice on the busy medical floor to not allow new nurse to care for the evil surgeon’s patients. The kindly nurse however was caring for the evil surgeon’s patients three months into his nursing experience.

One particular evening the kindly nurse was asked to care for one of the evil surgeon’s patients. This patient was quite displeased with her care up to that point and it was up to the kindly nurse to make things better. The kindly nurse spent much time that night caring for the displeased patient. He treated her pain, turned her in bed, monitored her vital signs…all the things a good, kindly nurse should do. By morning the displeased patient had become a pleased patient and thanked the kindly nurse.

When the evil surgeon visited that morning he spoke with the pleased patient and became angry. He heard of the poor care she had received prior to the kindly nurse, and immediately berated the kindly nurse and caused quite a scene at the nurses station. Not being one to take verbal abuse, the kindly nurse told the evil surgeon he was misinformed. The kindly nurse stated that he had provided excellent care and that he couldn’t be held responsible for what occurred during a previous shift. He told the evil surgeon that he didn’t appreciate being spoken to in that manner. All the other nurses congratulated the kindly nurse for standing up to the evil surgeon.

From that point forward, the evil surgeon never again berated the kindly nurse. He always showed the kindly nurse respect and never again questioned the care that the kindly nurse provided.

And that dear children, is the story of how the kindly nurse tamed the evil surgeon.

An Open Letter

Dear Publishers of The Oregonian,

It rains in Portland. It rains a lot in Portland. You should be used to this. So could you please explain to me why it is so fucking difficult for me to have a dry paper delivered?

Get it together or I'm cancelling my subscription. I'm getting tired of reading a soggy Fox Trot.

Hugs and kisses,
Todd

Celebrity Watch: Portland

Who was spotted last night at one of Portland's favorite gay men's bars, downing multiple beers, dancing like crazy, and stuffing dollars down strippers g-strings?

Give up?

It was none other than the worlds "first supermodel", former America's Next Top Model judge, and all around uber-bitch Janice Dickinson!

My friend and I couldn't quite figure out what the hell she was doing at The Silverado on a Wednesday night, but we had fun watching her and her entourage. At one point she grabbed the microphone from the host and sang along to Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back. I tried to snap a picture of her with my friend but thanks to three gin and tonics, I forgot to hit the save button and the pic was lost.

I later learned that she was in town filming an episode of her new show The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency for the Oxygen Network.

First Sean Penn comes to town and now Janice Dickinson. Could Paris Hilton be far behind? The fags of P-Town wait with bated breath.

Hot Guy Tuesday: Duck-billed Platypus

I've been working a lot lately and haven't had time to come up with a new guy for this week. In the mean time please enjoy this picture of a platypus; a creature I have long had an unusal affection for.

A bitch before sleeping

I'm tired and cranky, so please excuse me while I rant a little before going to bed.

Last night I had a patient who went bad. I called our rapid response team, which is basically just one step away from calling a full on code. The patient was diaphoretic, heart racing, can't get a blood pressure...bad stuff. The team comes in and checks her out. They run a battery of tests. They're yelling out labs to be drawn, EKG, chest x-ray. I'm running trying to get them all ordered and to call the appropriate people to get the job done. Ultimately they decide to transfer her to one of our critical care units. I hate transferring patients to critical care. Not only is it bad news for them, but it means I usually have to deal with some bitchy critical care nurse.

Don't get me wrong; I love most of our ICU nurses. They're a great group of nurses who work really hard and know their shit. They can run codes in their sleep. I just always seem to have to report off to that nurse who feels the need to quiz me on the patient's entire medical history and hospital stay. It just bugs me. I'm giving you a patient who has just had a major cardiac event, so why are you so concerned about the type of fucking tube feeding she's getting? It's not important right now and you can get the information from the chart just as easily as I can.

I also feel like a lot of the critical care nurses look down on us "lowly floor nurses". Granted, I can't read the 12-leads, I don't draw my own blood gases, and frankly I probably wouldn't know what the hell to do with most central lines, but that doesn't make me an idiot. I work my ass off every night I go to work and I'm a fucking good nurse.

A nurse manager once told me that the easiest way to make an ICU nurse cry was to have her work the floor and take six patients. Most of them wouldn't be able to do it since they're so used to only having to deal with one or two patients at a time. I like to think about that every time I encounter some witch of a nurse. I imagine them desperately trying to pass meds on six patients while answering call lights, toileting, bathing, completing assessment and charting it all before the end of shift. I think about that and just smile.

"Maybe it was an iguana"

My apartment building is being painted this week. I woke up this morning to find all of my windows taped over and covered in plastic. It sort of reminds me of that scene in E.T. where the feds come and try to take E.T. away. I keep expecting men in big white suits to come busting through the front door and try to steal my alien friend away.

Or maybe they'll just take the cat.

Halloween: 1976

I was reading some other blog earlier tonight and they suggested Googling "Halloween" along with the year you were born and then posting the most amusing pictures you find. I found a couple of funny ones. Perhaps later this week, if I can get near a scanner I can share some fun Halloween pictures from my youth.