Sad

Everyone tells me you're out there. Everyone says I'll meet you one day.

But what if you aren't? What if I don't? Will I be okay with that?

Some days I think I would. Other days I'm not so sure. Today is one of those other days. It's one of those days I feel like I'm always on the verge of tears. A day I feel so emotionally fragile that I cry at reruns of 'Sex and the City'. The one where Mr. Big breaks Carrie's heart. The one where she feels so hopeless and lost. The one where she fears that she'll never meet Mr. Right.

Today I'm a Carrie.

Today I feel lost without someone in my life. I have so many wonderful friends and yet I still feel like I'm missing something. Something so vital to my person. I feel like I'm missing a piece of myself. This all sounds so cliche. Like it belongs in a Katy Perry song.

Today I walked the park eating my frozen yogurt, wondering if this was what my life would be like from now on. Living alone with my cat. Walking around by myself. No one to hold my hand. No one to tell me they care. No one to offer me a bite of their yogurt.

I have these days from time to time. I feel sad. Perhaps I cry. I listen to a Dolly Parton song and let the tears flow. I then go to bed and wake up refreshed. Still a little sad perhaps, but better. More confident. More sure of myself. I remind myself that even though I'm single, I'm still fortunate. I have a great job, wonderful friends, and family that loves me.

I know I will feel better in the morning light. Tonight, however, it's okay to cry.