Big city dreams

Sometimes when I'm suppose to be working or studying, I like to search for old friends online. I usually just head over to Yahoo or Google, type in their names and hope for the best. Usually I don't come up with anything. Occassionally I do find someone that I used to know, many years ago.
I've noticed that a rather large number of these people I used to know have taken up residence in New York. I don't know why that is, but there are an unusually large number of them residing in the NYC area. Perhaps it's because I went to an arts high school and so many of my former classmates went into the entertainment industry. At any rate, I often wonder what it would be like to live in a really big city like New York.
I've never been one of those people who dreamed of moving to New York after graduation and making it in the big city. When I was much younger, I toyed with the idea briefly. When I informed my mother of my decision to move to New York, she looked me in the eye and said "Why would you want to do that? You know its very expensive there."
It wasn't my mother who caused me to abandon my plan to move to New York. It was my first visit. The city smelled, it was crowded and everyone acted like they had something REALLY important to get to. It was maddening and I hated it.
So after I graduated high school, I moved to Tallahassee to attend Florida State University. That was back in 1995 and I'm still in Tallahassee. I never intended to make this a long-term arrangement. Tallahassee has really never excited me all that much. When people ask me about it, I usually just reply "it would be a nice place to raise a family." This essentially just means that it's quiet, clean, and relatively inoffensive. Translation: Boring as hell.
Next spring I'm graduating with my second degree and planning on leaving Tallahassee. I imagine I will probably end up somewhere like Orlando or Tampa. Those are safe choices. I know those cities and I have friends there. There are times though that I think about just picking up and moving to New York. Not because I love it there, because I don't. But because when I run across those old classmates online who are living there and I see the lives they are living and frankly I feel a little jealous. I'm jealous of the fact that they had big dreams and they followed them. I'm jealous that they had the guts to move to a strange city and build their lives.
Maybe someday I'll take that risk and stop playing it so safe.